Thursday, June 02, 2011

Cultural Paradox

The Sun shined bright on the cold wet land
trees in their prime were green as they sang
the soft whistle of the blowing wind everywhere
as merry Canadians skipped and jumped hand in hand

In my land, the Sun is an old friend,
he visits often shining and sizzling bright
brown, well baked people of mine dread my friend
and hope trees and roofs save them from his might

Time spent in the Sun was forever condemned
where fair skin was considered a virtue priceless
and so today this sight I witness amuses me
happy faces sprawled on the lawns enjoy the Sun immense

Some crave a skin tone lighter, some wish it was a shade dark
a frivolous observation but tells so much about human thoughts
nothing is ever sufficient, nothing is ever right
some think of it as a boon and some think of it as a curse...
I think it is just another example in the theory of paradox!!

Deb

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Aaj Phir...

Aaj phir ek paigaam mila… aaj phir unki yaad aayi

Bujhti huye lou ki roshni jaise achaanak tez ho uthi…

Phir dard ka aalam chaaya.. har taraf ek adhoorapan

Aaj phir woh naam labon pe aaya… aaj phir unki yaad aayi

Deb

Sunday, April 03, 2011

Intezaar

Mohabbat ke panaahon mein sukoon kuch aisi hain

Ki chot khakar bhi har baar hum wahi laut aate hain

Kabhi aasoon, kabhi khushi, kabhi gum toh kabhi hasi

In maasoom se ehsaason ke liye har waqt tadapte rehte hain


Har safar pe akele chal padte the hum par, Ab akelepan se darr lagta hain

Ek humsafar gar saath na ho toh safar naaqaam sa lagta hain

Haath pakadke chale jo raah par, ek aise saathi ke talaash mein

Ab har peher, har lamha sanjog se ladte rehte hain


Kabhi phir woh hasi gunje, kahi phir woh hume miljaaye

Beeti palon ko yaad kar haste the, woh din phirse aajaaye

Useke khayaalon mein gum ab din raat mein badalti rehti hain

Phir se uske baahon mein khoneko har waqt tadapte rehte hain


-Deb

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Meethi

The setting sun as pleasant as always threw myriad colors across the sky. It was no longer clear where the sky ends and where the lake began. It was silent except for the birds chirping away madly as they return home to the waiting arms of their loved ones. She sat there on the banks of the lake throwing one pebble at a time into the still water and watching them make ripples in the lake. Her feet dipped in the lake she felt the cool water lapping at her ankles. It soothed her mind and made her feel peaceful. This was her favorite spot, by the lake in the shades of the huge banyan tree. She used to come here every Sunday with her father. She used to listen while he told her about his life as a kid playing in the paddy fields in sun and rains, about his mother’s cooking, about him stuck in his room when the storms outside made the palm trees swing all the way down to the earth and up again. She tried to visualize his stories. For some reason they were always in black and white. She tried to color them up but the colors did not quite fit. Her mobile was ringing. She should go now, Ayan must be home. She always forgot time when she came here.

“Hello Ayan,”

“Where are you Mitthi? Do you know the time? I was worried”

“Oho! I’m sorry Ayan, Just got stuck with some work. I’ll be home soon. Seeya then”

She sighed and picked up her bag to walk home. She never quite figured out why she never could tell Ayan about this place. She wanted to but probably Ayan would not understand or he might. She just never tried. Strange how many things we give up in life before even trying.

Mitali met Ayan an year back at a friend’s place. Always the silent one, she felt a bit out of place in the party. It was her friend Sudha’s house warming party. Mitthi helped herself to a glass of scotch and perched on the patio wall. She swirled the amber liquid in the glass and took a clean swig. Eyes closed, head thrown back she felt the warmth seeping down her throat…

“Careful! An inch more and it will hurt”

She choked in her drink. Spurting she quickly opened her eyes to see who chose to disturb her serenity.

“Ayan” he said with his hand out in an attempt to hold her.

“Thanks. Mitali”

“Is it alright if I share this place with you? The music in there is a tad too loud for me” said Ayan

“you do not seem to me as a person bothered by loud music,” Mitthi said with an edge in her voice.

Ayan did not seem to notice this. He made himself comfortable next to her and took a deep swig of his drink.

“So what are you drinking?” Ayan asked.

“JD on the rocks” she said

“Aha! Is that to prove to the world your strength?” Ayan said and turned to take a swig.

“Why would you think so?” she asked lifting her eyes to meet his.

“Well may be because you’ve been here for an hour now with that drink in your hand and eyeing the Pistachio ice cream on the food counter instead?” Ayan said stifling a laugh.

Mitthi’s eyes enlarged and then crinkled into a laugh.

“You have beautiful eyes” Ayan said.

“Really? Everyone says so. I don’t know. I can’t see” she said.

That was a year ago. Mitthi and Ayan came a long way since then. Ayan did not know then that it was not the ice cream Mitthi was eyeing, it was a dream. But he knows now. He knows where Mitthi walks off to every evening at Sunset. He is always behind her to protect her but never lets her know. He lets her think that she takes those few steps alone every day to the lake side to spend few moments with her father and her childhood self.

Today, as Mitthi walks back home to Ayan, Ayan walks behind her giving her company like he promised himself he would a year ago when he looked into her eyes and fell in love with her.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Phir unhi galiyon mein

raat ke gumnaami mein bhatakte huye
hum phir chal pade unhi galiyon mein
jis gali kabhi muskuraate the hum
phir maayoos hoke laut aaye

jis ko hadh se badhkar chaaha tha
usine aankhon mein aasoon bhardiye
waqt kabhi karz rakhta nahi
yeh chot khaake samajh paaye hum

phir kyun us raste phir se chal padhe
jis raste roshni der talak rukti nahi
dhalte huye suraj ki panaahon mein baithe
yuhi har lamha guzarjaaye khayaalon mein gum

ek pal ko darr bhi lagta hain ki
phir shaayad dard na seh paayenge
bas ek umeed ki sahaare toh jeete hain sab
aur is zindagi mein jeeneko kya rakha hain...

Deb

Monday, November 22, 2010

Tara

“Tara! Tara!”

There was a note of frustration in the voice she heard.

“Tara… Tara! Here you are. I was looking around for you all over the place. Why don’t you just leave a trail behind? It would make life easier for me!”

Tara turned to look at her friend, her dark wavy hair in tangles. She looked as if she just had a tryst with the wind.

“What were you doing up here? Back to your world of fantasies, huh?”

Tara didn’t bother to answer. This was her secret world and no one, not even Richa was allowed to invade it.

Hey Richa, leave dame. Just leave me alone!

Tara turned back and looked out at the dark space above. It always made her wonder looking at the bright stars.

Why’ Tara’? Why was I named Tara?

“Hmmm… well I guess you don’t need me here. Do cover yourself Tara, its cold out here. I’ll be downstairs”

Mysterious Girl! She never stops amazing me, thought Richa.

Tara heard footsteps receding behind her. She turned and caught a final glimpse of her best friend’s shadow.

I want to share so many things with you girl, but I can’t. Hope I’ll do it someday!

She lowered her gaze to the bright lights of the city spread in front of her recreating the image of the dazzling sky right above. The heights of Mumbai are what took her breath away. She gasped at their sheer display of power. She could not take her eyes of the tall structure standing before her, her grace, her elegance, her strength intoxicated Tara. She closed her eyes to feel the adrenaline rush through her blood. She could not wait to reach there,

Where she belonged!

Richa woke up with the whistle of the coffee maker. She turned and picked up her watch from the bedside table. 5AM??? She turned to look at Sushil. He was still deep in sleep. These days Sushil comes home so late, he hardly gets time to sleep

What is Tara doing at this hour?

She walked out of her room heading towards the Kitchen. Richa’s kitchen was the most beautiful room in her house, specially designed by her best friend Tara. Though Tara didn’t have a job yet Richa always believed in her capabilities. Right from the hostel days in the cold hills of Siliguri, Richa had known the beautiful, vibrant Tara. It was Richa’s idea to get her house designed by Tara.

“An Amateur designing my house? No way” is what Sushil said.

Richa was confident and so without his knowledge asked Tara to visit her.

All doubts Sushil had about Tara’s capabilities were washed away the moment he saw her get down the bus in her bright yellow Salwaar Kameez that day six months back. Richa smiled at the thought now.

Tara had an aura of elegance around her, a charisma which made men think I wish I had met her before! And women to look back and regard her grace with an eye of jealousy. This Richa knew from the beginning.

She saw Tara sitting by the table with a pen in her hand, a mug of steaming hot coffee and a mountain of papers in a neat pile by her side. She was one of those women who stressed on being tidy & organized in the weirdest situations. Richa smiled as she entered the Kitchen quietly.

“What you up to so early in the morning?” Richa asked Softly.

Tara didn’t realize someone was watching her and was startled by Richa’s sudden arrival.

“Oops! I am sorry if I disturbed you. I could not sleep and thought its better to get some work completed”

Tara’s eyes wandered and came to rest just behind Richa. Richa followed her gaze and found Sushil standing behind her.

“I can smell coffee! Can I get some too?” he asked groggily.

“yeh sure,” said Tara.

“What kept you away from sleep?”

“I got an opportunity to present my designs at Lakme Fashion House!” she said in a matter-of-fact tone.

“whoa! And how is that going to happen?” asked Sushil

“Lakme Fashion House is a reality show to be broadcast on star one. I have been invited to present my designs in the on-ground auditions” Said Tara.

“Aha! And you think your designs will be selected?” asked Sushil his voice full of mockery.

“Of course!” and this time the voice was Richa’s.

Sushil didn’t reply to the snap. Instead he looked intently at Tara for a brief second, got up and left the room.

Oh Richa! Don’t do this

The competition was a month away. There was very less time, 30 days! The thought kept her awake working most of the hours. She was put up in Richa’s guest room upstairs which she soon turned into a mini Fashion House with Mannequins draped in vibrant violets, deep sea blues, coral greens, strawberry pinks and vampire reds. The room had a slanting glass roof touching the floor making it look like a small triangle had been chipped of from a rectangle’s edge. Facing the nature outside under this roof was Tara’s workstation. She was working feverishly designing and draping the mannequins when sushil passed by her room. The door was ajar and he could see her back as she went along with her work without the slightest hint that she was being watched. Sushil rested his eyes on her and explored her back, her tall frame, slender neck, dark hair now in tangles. She was in her denim shorts and a white shirt which was now almost wet with sweat but she worked oblivious to all these and that only added to her charm. A smile crossed his lips & he dropped the book in his hand. Tara was startled by the sound and turned around just in time to catch a glimpse of the enemy. Their eyes met for a brief second and then abruptly Sushil left the hallway and descended the stairs leaving Tara stuck in a whirlpool of questions.

What did he want? Why did he not call me the moment he came? How long was he standing there? What did that look mean? Oh Richa!

Tara was in one of her swingy moods… She called Richa and Sushil in their office and asked them to be home by 8. She went to the market, shopped all day long, came back home and started working for the beautiful evening she wanted to present Richa with. She decorated the house with satin and orchids, arranged a warm bath for Richa and Sushil in the double bath she designed for the Master Bedroom. The bath glowed with Candles and the scent of musk was rich in the room by the time Richa and Sushil came in. She then arranged for a lovely dinner of Chicken Salad in Tomato Petals, Shorshe Ilish, Alu Poshto and Rice to go with it. She finished the Feast with a bowl of fresh Rosogolla and a bottle of French Wine.

Tara was in a flowing sleeveless bottle Green chiffon frock, left her hair loose, and had a thin silver bracelet in her right hand with a sea green stone. As Richa and Sushil entered the Kitchen, they were already in a high. Richa was as excited as a kid and kissed Tara on her cheek the moment she saw her.

“Gosh! You look ravishing” exclaimed Richa.

A smile crossed Tara’s lips. It pleased Tara that Richa was enjoying her evening, the evening presented to her by Tara.

“Isn’t it just lovely sweetheart?” screamed Richa at Sushil.

Tara glanced at Sushil and found his eyes fixed on her. It didn’t occur to Tara before that she was looking at a very handsome Young man. Sushil was in a peach colored sleeveless cotton shirt and White trousers. He had his hair chopped short and neat. He smelled of Gillette. Tara loved Gillette. With another scream of Richa, Tara realized that she had been staring at Sushil and as she lowered her eyes, she saw a brief smile passing Sushil’s lips.

What is wrong with me?

As Richa served the dinner, Tara sat back, relaxed and admired her friend. A bubbly, cute girl with bobbing burgundy hair cut in style just reaching her neck. She was in a white satin dress just reaching her knees. Richa was of medium height and had a slender built. Tara’s oldest friend and the closest anyone could get to her. Richa & Sushil’s marriage was arranged by their parents. She still remembered Richa’s resentment at her marriage being arranged but the moment she saw the snap of the groom she was head over heels in love with Sushil. She smiled and joined in all the excitement rising around her as Richa screamed “Shorshe ilish …. Mmmm I love it! Oh Tara Thank you so much!”

After the dinner, the Trio sat in the living room and relaxed with wine and chatter.

As the evening neared the end Richa groaned, “All this heavy food and wine has gone to my head! I am going to bed. Sush, you wanna join?”

Sush!!! That’s what she calls him…

“Nope Sweets! You go ahead”

“I will have some more wine, May I?” this he addressed to Tara.

Tara smiled and refilled his glass. All the rich food and wine were playing with her senses now. She saw Sushil walking towards her; she felt her heart thudding against her chest so loudly that she felt it will land in her hands soon; she saw him come close to her so much so that she could feel his face brush her hair; her excitement surprised her. She looked up and found Sushil’s gaze fixed on her;

“May I dance with you?” asked Sushil

Tara realized there was music on and now the hall decorated in satin and orchids acted as a perfect backdrop. Sushil was a good dancer; he had a way with his feet and so was Tara. They both danced in perfect harmony; the wine clouded their senses; Tara was in Sushil’s arms, feeling his cool skin against her, his hands on her waist, the fragrance of Gillette sharp, Gillette!!!

Startled she stepped back from his hold. She found Sushil looking at her intently,

“What are you looking at?” Tara asked annoyed

“You!” said Sushil

Tara did not respond, instead she looked up and saw straight in his eyes and this time kept them there.

Let him be the one to turn his gaze this time!

“Why don’t you show me your designs?” asked Sushil breaking the silence

“huh? I thought you weren’t interested!” said Tara a little flushed.

“Why not? Not that I don’t like your work. You’ve designed this house and I should agree it was done in good taste. I would be privileged to see your work before Lakme does,” said Sushil with a wicked smile.

Tara turned around and started to walk up the stairs to her room; Sushil followed.

Though Sushil had seen her in that room before, her presence now in the midst of her creations enthralled Sushil. At that moment as Tara spread out her designs in front of Sushil, she seemed to him like an excited child showing off her toys. This change in her demeanor appalled him. One moment she seems to be the ice cold princess of his dreams; the sexiest woman he laid his eyes upon and the other he finds her a jubilant, excited child. Sushil looked at her work and was suddenly caught off guard. Whatever he might have thought of her, it wasn’t this. What he saw displayed in front of him was not an amateur’s work but the handiwork of a designer with extra ordinary creativity.

He saw the mannequins draped in her creations and fell in love with them instantly. Her designs had a strange theme, “CREATION.” The coral greens draped on a mannequin in a sensuous way high lighted the wildness of deep waters; the strawberry pinks wrapped around the waists emphasized the rawness of love; the reds and blues crystallized the vast skies on these lifeless figures. The presence of all the elements was evident, the raging fire, the soothing earth, the thunderous waters, the cool air and the dark skies. Sushil was amazed beyond words.

“You are amazing! This is superb work Tara,” shrieked Sushil.

Tara’s face brightened at his remark. She softly asked, “You really think so? Do you think I’ll make it?”

“Make it? Don’t be so damn modest! Why don’t you just give me your autograph? We may not get hold of you again after this contest!” said Sushil.

Tara laughed and dismissed the statement with a wave of her hand, “Don’t flatter Sushil”

“I am not Tara. You are good.” The seriousness in Sushil’s tone dragged her attention to him. Her eyes glistened with tears. She regarded this as her first ever success.

Sushil gave her a warm hug, stepped back and looked into her eyes for a brief second, turned back and went out of the room.

Long after Sushil left sleep evaded Tara. She looked out of the glass roof, again at the night skies, admiring the millions of stars brightening the earth below, wondering again,

Why Tara?

Down in his room Sushil tossed on his side; He thought about Tara draped in all her creations; why didn’t you meet me before Tara

At that precise moment a smile played on Richa’s lips.

The next few days was a feverish frenzy of preparations. Sushil and Richa both chipped in to help Tara in building her presentation. There was always an electrified atmosphere in Richa’s house, the source being Tara. Her adrenaline levels soared high; She spent her time buried in sketches, draping and undraping, drawing and erasing, finding faults, criticizing her own work. While Tara displayed all the qualities of a high tension wire, Sushil and Richa laidback and relaxed as if they already knew the outcome of the contest.

Every night Sushil gathered Tara asleep on the floor in midst of her drawings and laid her on her bed, covered her, kissed her on her forehead which lingered a little bit longer than it should have, gave her a longing look and then slowly left the room closing the door behind him. Tara lay awake through all this but kept silent. She had trouble understanding herself. On one hand she regarded Sushil as Richa’s husband and on the other she would wait all day for that lingering kiss each night. She contradicted her own thoughts each passing day. Richa!!!

The day before the contest Sushil asked Richa and Tara to be free for a dinner out. Richa spent the whole day in the parlor getting ready for the evening out. She took Tara out shopping and was behind her neck till she purchased a peach colored silk outfit. Richa bought coral green chiffon for herself. Richa and Tara relaxed for a while in Barista over a hot cup of coffee. Richa looked at Tara and found her extra ordinarily silent. She bent forward, took her hands in hers, patted them and said softly,

“Tara, do you know that you are the most sensuous woman I’ve ever seen? Men can’t take their eyes off you and women jealous of you. But to me you are my best friend.”

Tara looked at her friend in surprise. Why is she saying all these? Does she know?

Tara’s eyes were moist as she looked at Richa.

Richa said, “I trust you Tara, more than anyone else. You will never harm me. Tomorrow is the day you’ve been waiting for all these years. Give it your best!”

Tara’s hands trembled and she heard herself say, “You knew?”

The evening went of somberly. Richa and Tara had a nice time dancing and toasting to their friendship; a friendship that passed the hardest test of all, a test of Jealousy, Love and Lust.

The Contest:

The venue of the on ground auditions was packed to the brim. People from all over the city were present there to display their talent. Tara marched in with her designs an air of confidence around her. She was in a white cotton Capri and a pastel pink tunic; she had a white hat and shoes on to protect her from the scorching heat of the sun. Her designs tucked under her arms, Tara went ahead with the proceedings. A jury comprising of Abu Jani & Sandeep Khosla presided over the presentations. Tara was a nervous wreck all the while waiting for her turn. The presentations were good and it only added to Tara’s discomfort.

“Ms. Tara Dasgupta, her theme ‘CREATION’”

As she heard her name being announced on the over head speaker, Tara became alert. The only thing she thought about now was the heights; the power that intoxicated her that night. She wanted to go there where she belonged and for that to happen this was her opportunity. Tara shook off all her apprehensions, took a deep breath and moved ahead.

The moment Tara came in front of the jury, she knew they will watch her. She proceeded with her presentation. If the judges were impressed, they didn’t show it and if they weren’t they didn’t show that either.

When the time for the results came closer, Tara was breathing hard. Twenty contestants would be selected for an overnight contest, out of which four contestants would be selected for the grand finale from each zone. Tara wanted to be in the final four from the West Zone. Tara took out the coin given to her by Richa for safe keeping. She was not much of a believer but Richa’s faith gave her strength. She held the coin in her hand.

Please!

The names of the twenty contestants were being announced. The names announced were in alphabetical order. Tara’s tunic was now drenched in sweat. The last two names were left to be announced and then came

‘Ms. Tara Dasgupta’

As she marched to the Podium there was a silence. The announcement of names abruptly stopped. There was silence all around. Tara looked up to the Jury; the duo stood up and gave Tara a standing ovation.

“Wonderful Tara!” they said together.

Tara was speechless. She always knew that her designs were good but this was out of her dreams.

Abu and Sandeep went up to the podium congratulated Tara; Abu gave her a warm hug and whispered in her ears, “Meet you up there soon Tara, keep working”

Richa shrieked in the phone when she heard the news. Sushil was standing next to her eager to talk to Tara, to be a part of the celebration. Then Richa suddenly went tense. Her silence disturbed Sushil. He asked Richa, “What happened? Why are you silent?”

Richa did not answer. She replaced the phone back in its cradle and sank into the sofa. Sushil kneeled on the ground infront of her and asked again, “Richa. What happened?”

“She won the contest. She is among the final four from the West zone. She will move ahead with the rest of the team from here on.” said Richa.

“When is she coming here?” asked Sushil.

“She is not Sushil. She said she is moving on with the team from this moment.”

“What? How can she be so selfish? Doesn’t she feel, she should at least meet us once before she leaves? Why is she doing this?” shouted Sushil

“You know better!” said Richa calmly and left her husband to walk up the stairs to her best friend’s room. Sushil kept looking at her long after she left.

She knew all along.

Richa closed the door behind her and wept softly.

I always trusted you Tara. You needn’t have done this.

Far away somewhere, walking by the beach Tara thought to herself

I don’t trust myself as much as you do Richa. I will miss you!

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Tujhse hi…

Tujhse hain shabnami raat, zindagi hain tujhse meri

Tujhi se suhaani yeh sham, Tumhi ho bandagi meri

Har lamha jiska intezaar tha, zehen mein jiski justujoo,

Tujhme hi paaya hain humne, har dua mein thi jiski aarzoo

Jhuki palkon se tujhe dekha tha, nigaahon mein basgaye the tum..

Palkon se chupke, dheeme dheeme, dil mein utargaye ho tum..

Tujhse nigaahein milti hain, ek aah si dil mein uth ti hain..

Teri nazron ke berukhi se phir, dil mein dard sa hota hain…

Tujhe haste hasaate dekh, hum bhi muskuraalete hain…

Kisi gair par tere nazre dekh, phir dil mein jalan si hoti hain..

Tujhse koi shiqwa nahi, naa hi koi shiqaayat hain

Tujhe toh shaayad khabar hi nahi, Kis had tak tujhe hum chaahte hain…

Deb