'Bordhoman', a district in West Bengal, India, famous for paddy and potatoes is my new home. This is where my Husband hails from and so after our Wedding, I visited the Ancestral home of my In-Laws over a weekend. This District is punctuated by tiny villages or more appropriately called 'Gram'. As we drove, I could see lush green fields on either side of the narrow roads for miles and miles. My Father-in-Law was pointing out the crops, paddy, mustard, potatoes that were cultivated in those fields. Surprisingly, I never saw potato plants before :). Dense Forests that covered hundreds of acres and spread across states provided shade and respite from the hot mid day heat. As I looked ahead, the road was covered with paddy grains and the car was about to drive over them. That is when I almost screamed, 'Stop'!
Funnily enough, the villagers wanted the vehicles to drive over the grains. It is just a easy and no-expensive means of separating the grains (I am not sure what the process is actually called). On the road-side there were heaps of potatoes lying and wasting. Fun Fact: Potato cultivation is expensive in comparison to most of the other crops. This year, the farmers who cultivate potatoes did not make much money out of it. These thoughts about the Indian rural life were disturbing. A Country where Agriculture is the major occupation, the farmers are and have been suffering, sometimes it is the nature but most of the times it is the Bureaucracy or the System or the Illiteracy!
Depressing facts aside, I remember drawing countless scenic pictures of villages as a child and writing about them and so visiting a Gram and living there was like a leaf straight out of a story book. It is surprising how I lived in India for 27 years and never saw a Gram before. Mud houses, temples, ponds in the backyard, children on bicycles, mud stoves that use coal for fuel! I felt connected to my Motherland, connected to the Nature, Connected to my roots. It was an exhilarating feeling and I loved every minute of it. Yes, there were mosquitoes but there were nets too, and there were caring women who wanted to make my stay as comfortable as possible. It is surprising how welcoming people can be of a perfect stranger. Within minutes, I felt at home and felt wanted.
There was a lady who cooked for the household. Her name was Bani Mashi. I stood by her as she made tea for everyone and asked her name followed by where she lived and who else was in her family. She smiled and I smiled in return. My tea was a little extra sweet. I think she liked me! In Hindu custom, when a woman is married, she leaves behind her life and dons the name and customs of her Husband. So, with my Marriage, I became a Brahmin. This did not make much of a difference to me till I visited my Father-in-Law's Ancestral home in 'Gonpur'. They have a Durga Temple in their front yard!!! That is not it. I took part in a ritual right in the inner quarters of the Temple. That sure was a bummer! It was beautiful and serene. I loved being there and enjoyed the fact that I was by no means uncomfortable. These people were my own and they loved me like their own. It was a proud moment!
This visit to the Basics, made me realize something important, that in Life what matters is the people you meet, the friends you make and retain, the family you had by birth and the family you adopt in this journey of life. Everything else is ephemeral, just an adornment to make life comfortable. Definitely important but not everything. The open heart with which everyone accepted me was remarkable. I realized I was nervous for no reason. These were some of the most interesting and sweetest people I met. What a trip!
Signing off
Deb
