THE RAMBLINGS OF A SOUL ON A SUMMER AFTERNOON

It is again one of those days, when I laze around doing nothing soaking up the heat of the afternoon sun. Memories from past keep flooding back to my mind and my eyes get moist. I miss my school days when by this time i.e., 5 PM, I would run back home to savor the mouth-watering delicacies Mom made for us, Dada and me. He would already be at the table when I reached enjoying the treat and smirk at me because he cycled his way back and never give me a ride. He always was a pompous teenager and would never let me play with him or his friends. Anyways, that was not what I was thinking about. My mind just finds seven different routes to wander about at any given moment. I used to neatly pile my bag in a corner and walk to the table and take my seat. Mom would pat my head and hand me my treat which always managed to vanquish the turmoil of the past hours that I spent day dreaming. I miss Mom’s pat on my head now. I don’t remember most of the incidents from my childhood. For that matter I don’t remember much from 5 years back. The memories are hazy and blotchy like they are not mine, but snippets of someone else’s life. My room-mate manages to land into a rambling about incidents from her childhood days anytime anyone asks her to. It scares me! I sometime wonder if I have dementia! My brother remembers too. Every little thing he did or said in his life and he is four years elder to me! I don’t! Worse, I don’t remember the names of the professors who taught me 3 months back. Well, unless they did something that would never let me forget them. But 3 months is still a short time period to forget. Isn’t it? There is an exception though! I remember clearly all the unpleasant memories of my life. I was discussing this with one of my friends a few days back as we walked back home from class and he said, “It is ‘coz you do not talk about it enough. The more you think about your past and talk about it, the clearer it is. You are so silent all the time. No wonder you cannot remember much.” That set me thinking again. I remember days when Mom used to tell her friends that I am very talkative and gregarious, that I make friends easily and open up to perfect strangers very quickly. Well! That seems to have changed now. Like I said, this was not what I was thinking but my mind has its own mind! There was this time when I was travelling with my Mom and Dada to Kolkatta to spend my summer Holidays with my cousins. We boarded the second class compartment of the Coromandal express from Chennai. It was an extremely hot day and we carried with us a thermocol ice case filled with soft drink cans, about 25 cans. I remember quarrelling with Dada all the way to Kolkatta for my share. I wonder what I would be ready to give away now to live that journey one more time! I want my childhood days back when I was a carefree child whose only worries were her rival in class beating her to the First rank or how to explain to Mom the tongue reddened by licking at a lollipop or why there are Ink spots on the shirt sleeves? I want my childhood days when I refused to sit unless Baba offered me his lap. I would then climb into his lamp and fit my small, thin body comfortably onto his right thigh and right arm and rest there till I slept. I never slept better! I remember Dad coming home after a game of tennis on my 13^th birthday and find me sleeping silently. He was surprised ‘coz usually I create a ruckus on my birthdays. He touched my forehead and found it burning hot. He picked me up and took me to a doctor immediately. I had the symptoms of Malaria. On my way back a giant black scorpion crossed our path. I was scared but Baba said that it won’t harm. Just at that moment, it started to move towards my feet. I was frozen with fear. Baba killed it with a big stone then and bent and gave me a bear hug. I realized that he would have let it go had I not been there. I miss my Baba’s bear hug.

Hmmm! I do remember a little!! There! my room-mate is back already and I am still rambling. I think I bored enough and I should get going now…